FROM THE SPIRITUAL DIRECTOR "Ice Cream And Forgiveness"

My love story: 'ICE CREAM AND FORGIVENESS'

I love my Dad because he saved my life one day. It was a terrible day because a man almost beat me to death. But as I lay helplessly dying and having an extended 'out-of-body' experience, a man, without saying a word, fed me spoon-by-spoon a large bowl of ice cream. Numerous doctors and therapists have said it was the cold of that ice cream that brought me out of shock and restored me to life. What a loving thing he did.

I know that many of you who know of my abusive childhood are thinking/saying: 'Wait a minute, Bob, isn't the man who beat you and the man who fed you ice cream the same man? And wasn't that man your abusive father?' Yes, that is correct.

I am ashamed to admit that it took me decades to work through all of this: not by myself, but with the help of God and loving friends. You see, I let the devil take me on a short but terrible trip. One of the devil's cruelest traps is to turn our hurts into hates. I hated the way my father was treating me, so with the devil's help, it was a short trip to then also hate my father. I became obsessed with thinking of ways to get even with him for what he had repeatedly done to me, finally deciding that the only fitting punishment was for my father to suffer eternally in hell.

I would refuse to forgive him and repeatedly ask God to punish and condemn him. Hatred consumed me until one day in church the stained glass window of Christ on the cross with His words 'Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do' convicted me. Jesus did die; I didn't. So if Jesus prayed that prayer I should also pray that prayer for my father. But I couldn't and I didn't want to. But God reminded me of Psalm 51 where David prayed for a clean heart and a right spirit; David's dirty and sinful heart and his wrong spirit or way of thinking had led him to adultery and murder.

My heart was cold and dead, any love beaten out of it years ago; my spirit filled with hatred not mercy. Like David, I needed God to create a new heart and mind because there was nothing good left to start with. So I prayed for that and instantly God answered my prayer. The hatred and need for revenge was gone. I could forgive and ask God to bless my father. What a glorious and miraculous moment that was!

When we get hurt we have a choice to make: we can listen to God or listen to the devil. The devil says 'Get even!' and God says 'Forgive!' To forgive does not mean we excuse the sin nor the sinner--it means I am going to give up my obsession to get even and instead let God handle it. And God already has. He sent Jesus.

When the devil shouts "Somebody should pay for this!' God quietly and lovingly reminds us "Somebody already has paid for this--that Somebody is Jesus, My only Son and your only Savior--and He paid for it on the cross." His blood shed on that cross washes away my father's sins, and mine, and yours, and the sins of anyone who has hurt you in any way. The price has been paid; the sins are gone.

Jesus taught in Matthew 5:44: 'Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." Love and forgiveness heal the hurt; praying for God to bless our enemies makes it impossible for us to continue hating them.

If you, like I did for decades, are living a hate story, let God change that by changing you. God can and will do that. I know. He changed my hate story into a love story. The blood of Jesus has washed away all the horrible things my father did to me. They are gone. All that is left is the man who fed me a big bowl of ice cream.

Let God change your hate story into a love story. I know. God did it for me and will also do it for you. I love my Dad because he saved my life one day.

GLY & SDI!

Pastor Bob, Spiritual Director, LVCCM

God loves you and so do I!

Pastor Bob Allmann, LVCCM Spiritual Director